I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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