Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
