brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
