you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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