Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
