I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
