doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
