I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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