Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
