we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize