He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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