Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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