dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
