Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My balls are so social today.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
