I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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