i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
