I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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