I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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