I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize