What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
