I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
