Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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