cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The ass gains better be worth it
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