And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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