I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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