At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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