i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
