Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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