i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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