Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
is that a dick in a sweater?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
