I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
