we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize