there's paper in my vomit.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
