i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
