Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
