DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
