he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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