what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
