so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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