I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
