I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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