I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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