He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
