you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
