Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
