My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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