Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
