I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
