Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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