And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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