but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
