Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Alive.
So much puke
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
