I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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