forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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