And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
