I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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