They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
handjob tips. give me some.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize