her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
