i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
